To a girl:

Hey, I dig you, wouldn’t mind seeing you again, but I’m not sure what’s going on, how you feel or what you’re trying to tell me. I probably didn’t catch any of your signs. Maybe I’m dumb and naïve for not interpreting plain words to mean something else. I trust people. When you told me you were busy, I didn’t think it had another meaning. It meant that you were busy, and couldn’t spend time with me at that particular moment. I believed everything you told me, I took your words for face value, and I still do. Honesty and boldness is the gentlest way you can let someone down, not by dropping hints, which I’m clearly unable to interpret anyway. You won’t hurt my feelings, I’m not heartbroken thinking about you, I just don’t want to waste any more time. So please, be straight up, tell me now, do you want to go on another date or not?

No.

Hey, no worries. Thanks for being honest. For the sake of another guy that you find unsuitable, please just tell thim how you feel. Don’t wait, don’t drop hints, just tell him to take a hike. For him, It’s the nicest thing you can do.

It’s like what happened to me in the mission field. We’d knock a door, get a smile and a kind hello, deliver our message, ask for a return appointment, and assume their answer to be how they truly felt. In the case of, “Yeah, come back tomorrow evening,” and they actually are home the next day, halleluiah . In the case of, “You know, I’m not really interested, sorry,” stated in complete honesty and respect, halleluiah, let’s go find someone else. In the case of, “Yeah, you can come back,” stated with no real intention to let us in, or even worse, “Yes, 7:00 tomorrow would be great,” stated with the intention to be gone, curses! People were afraid to say, No, maybe because they were weak, afraid declining an invitation would look rude. Save me some grief and be gentle by telling me to go away if that’s how you truly feel.

(originally posted Saturday 2/9/08 12:37 AM)